![]() It would probably terrify anyone who’s never tried more than a Rampant Rabbit, and you’ll only get full use out of it if you have an empty house (with solid foundations). It’s the best thing I’ve ever had the pleasure of testing and I plan to spend most of the summer trying all the different attachments (although I’m going to need to sort some childcare, because this is not something you would ever get away with just by turning the music up a notch). Would I recommend the Sybian to others? OH HELL YES. The idea of that happening again so soon made my newly sensitive ladybits clench in fear, quite frankly. The very lovely lady at Sybian – still a family firm and one of the most friendly and helpful companies I’ve ever dealt with – assures me that it’s perfectly possible to stay aboard and achieve multiple orgasms with a little practice (the word ‘squirting’ may also have been mentioned), but it was all I could do to scrabble at the ‘off’ button and collapse into a heap. But my neighbours had suffered enough already, so I gritted my teeth and settled for muted yelping. ![]() It was all I could do not to fling my arm in the air and yell ‘Ride ’em, cowboy! ‘ while whooping with glee. But with the Sybian, you are upright and riding the machine itself, which adds a whole new element to the adventure. ![]() The only thing I can compare it to is a mains-powered wand vibrator – Doxy fans will know exactly what I mean here. There is an absolutely mind-blowing insanity about the way the Sybian forces orgasms. Although I can’t help but think that the riding community might be missing a trick, here – added fun and security while attempting that difficult showjumping course, maybe? But then horses’ saddles don’t usually have a 6″ dildo attached. I ride a lot, and get on and off horses all the time, but I still found it awkward to clamber on top. Let’s be clear on this from the start – there is no sexy way to climb onto a Sybian, no matter how hot the porn movies make it look. The medium standard insert seemed the obvious place to start (you can also buy ‘ RealLike’ penis covers that attach to the insert, with sizes to suit all appetites). I’d been supplied with so many attachments that there was no way I’d have time to try them all, so I hid the finger shaped one (because I’m sorry but there is nothing about seeing a disembodied finger waggling around at high speed that makes me think ‘ooh I really want to sit on that’) and just picked out the most likely candidates. Having hurriedly switched it off and assured the other occupants of the house that no, I hadn’t suddenly decided to demolish a ceiling without warning them, I lugged the beast up onto the bed itself in the hope that the mattress would add insulation (and that the weight might stop the bed from dancing a jig). Not only did the floorboards shake, so did the walls. My bed – a solid wood four-poster – leapt off the floor as the Sybian roared into life. I sat it on folded towels to aid noise muffling and, confident that I’d done what I could to silence the beast, switched it on. Which is when the earthquake apparently hit. Limited to the bedroom for privacy reasons, I decided that the floor would be the sturdiest place to site the unit. I write about adult products all the time, so I recognise a serious bit of kit when I see it.Īnd with a motor – and a reputation – such as the Sybian’s, I was under no illusion that this was going to be a quiet experience. Sometimes, all a girl needs is a hefty dildo and a power dial. The controls are nothing more than a wired box with two dials, one for rotation and another for vibration – a refreshing change from the endless vibe patterns and over-complicated programmable remote controls often found on other toys. Using the Sybian itself is really simple – you just attach your chosen toy, connect the mains cable and switch on. There’s a huge amount of information included in the Sybian package, including leaflets about female anatomy and a genuinely useful guide to sexual satisfaction – they take women’s sexual satisfaction very seriously indeed.
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